Just because it's true doesn't mean you have to say it!

Son 1: We are all midgets compared to dad. He is the tallest in our house.

Son 2: Yup. he's the tallest.

Son 1: But mom is the oldest person in our house.

My Valentines dAy present from my Husband

When Mike asked me what I wanted for Valentines Day I told him to draw something for me. This is what awaited me when I got home! I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. I hope you can read it!

TRANNY PANTIES!!!!!!!!

I was on a search for skanky panties. I found them, of course, at wal-mart. I hate the place, but I was on an emergency Drain-O run for the gallery with my co-worker and friend Maria. We also picked up some groceries :(. Then I spotted them glistening in the fluorescent lights. I took them home to see if they did anything for the husband. He was repelled and informed me that they were not slutty dirty ho panties. They were tranny panties. So of course I took them to work the next day and this is what Maria and did with them.

So my boys were in the tub early this morning. they are 7 and 4. When I went to get them out my youngest, David, announced to me that "We are finding our balls." Then they pinched their testicles to show me how they can isolate their little nads. I write this stuff down so I can remember and use it as blackmail when they are older.

I just sent my oldest, Chad, to the bus stop. I always feel anxiety about this. This is the first year he's taken the bus, and for about the first nine weeks he wanted me to walk him to the bus stop, then he told me he wanted to walk alone. It's only a block and a half away but it still makes me nervous. we don't have any kids on our street to send him with. We live on retirement row. I decided to to let him. He feels so proud and independent. I don't want to squash those feelings. But on my super anxious days, I drive by the bus stop on the way to work and look for signs of a struggle, then call the school to make sure he got there in one piece.