Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Heart Ache!

Two things made my heart ache today.

1. I saw my baby brother today.

2. I went into a gallery.

Seeing my twenty five year old baby brother made my heart ache because I miss him so much! It's so strange to walk in to the restaurant he works at and see my brother a full grown man! We used to be very close but now I'm lucky if I see him once a year. There is no excuse for this! We live in the same damn city!!! Both of us have not been making time for each other and that is why we aren't as close as we used to be. Time to show a little effort on both our parts!

On my way to my car I stopped at Mariposa Gallery. I began to feel very emotional looking around. When I left I realized how much I missed working at a gallery! I used to think I just missed the people I worked with, which of course I do they are awesome, but I think working with art is something I miss just as much. Learning about the artists and their art fed my soul. I was surrounded by the creation of compelling and beautiful things and I was inspired to make my own art. That something I miss very much.

Monday, June 21, 2010



That's right. I did it. I bought lindt petits desserts chocolate mousse bar and have no intention of sharing it with anyone. I don't think i can eat the whole thing my self, but i'm sure gonna try!

So I've had five tests so far and the results are three "A's"! I haven't gotten the results of the other two yet, but my guess is they are not A's. I'm optimistic that they are B's, which is still good. Of course there is always the possibility that I'm over estimating my grade, but i feel pretty good about it.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

What I want right now

My world religion class just ended and I have four hours between classes today. I know that i must study my butt off for my psychology test later, but what do I want to do? I want to hunt down a doughnut. A doughnut and a latte! that sounds amazing! I suppose doughnuts are the thing i miss most about my shitty job. I called them untraceable doughnuts. They were untraceable because nobody would know just how many I ate. Not my husband, a psycho health nut, not anybody! they were there almost weekly in the breakroom just waiting for someone to devour! I always had more then my share, which is probably why since leaving that horrendous job, I have lost six pounds. I am parked half a mile away from school. To leave to get a doughnut would require walking in ninety eight degree weather. there's a Dunkin Doughnuts just a few blocks away, but once again that would require walking in the sweltering heat there and back pulling my bookbag behind me, and to be quite frank I sweat like a dude. So, sadly, i will stay here, and study. I will eat the orange and trail mix i brought and try not to think too hard about the doughnut that could be.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Starting fresh

after a long absence from the blogging world I've decided it's time to come back. Things anyone who may remember me might want to know...

- My husband and a I doing great!

- i have quit my wretched job and I'm now back at school. I'm finishing my general studies at the local community college and will be hopefully moving on to UNM in 2011 where i hope to get a psychology degree.

- my youngest is a recent graduate of kindergarten and my oldest boy just finished the second grade! Both boys are doing awesome!

-My eighty three year old grandmother has moved in with us.

The last thing on my little list is what I'd like to chat about now.

Marion is my mothers mother, my grandmother, and my children's great grandmother. She is currently suffering from dementia. This of course is not expected to get better. Her memory will only get worse and her health will follow. Marion was not a good mother. Don't get me wrong, she had her moments, but all in all she was what most would call mentally abusive and extremely manipulative. As a grandmother, she was fun. She would give us candy at bed time, after we brushed our teeth, she would tell us stories, and feed us weird and amazing things. My aunt who has sacrificed the last thirty years of her life taking care of my grandma, is in poor health and can no longer take care of her. Needing to focus on herself and getting well, it was decided that my grandma needed to be placed somewhere else. The question was where would she go? My mother and other aunts and uncles couldn't supply the amount of supervision required to care for her. They have full time jobs and financial obligations that require they keep those jobs. The general consensus is that you cant leave her alone for more then an hour. So her children began the search for a nursing home. One of her biggest fears is being placed in a home. That's when Mike and i decided that we should consider having her move in with us. Mike doesn't have a job and I'm in school. Together we can help care for her, and keep her out of a nursing home. so that's how it happened. My grandma moved in with us. While she is demented to the point she can't be left alone, when she's in the moment she can really be "on". she loves visitors and people. She likes it when the boys bring her toys to look at and bugs to examine. She doesn't leave her room very often. she calls it her apartment, because she has her own bathroom, and a walk in closet with a microwave and mini fridge. My mother planted a garden outside her window and hung hummingbird feeders, which grandma loves and talks about all the time. She repeats herself constantly and can't tell you what happened yesterday, or for that matter five minutes ago. Some people might have a hard time dealing with that, but i just nod and smile.